My Promise

I enjoy writing and have not written much since Carli's birth, so I decided to write this piece. It is called "My Promise."

...

I awoke from my sleep, and I could feel something between my legs. I called for the nurse, who, in turn, called for the midwife. My heart was racing. Chris woke up to see what all the commotion was. It couldn’t be time yet, could it?

“Are you ready to push?”

“Are you serious?”

I had been preparing for this moment for nine months. Was it really time? I hesitated. My mind raced. I wanted to tell them I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t qualified to raise a child. I knew that it was the last time I would look at Chris, and it would be just the two of us. He was ready. I could see it in his eyes, in his smile. He couldn’t wait to meet you. But was I ready? Was I really ready to be your mother? God entrusted you to my care, so in that moment, I made a promise to Him and you to be the best mother I could be.

I promised to love your father and stay with him through the hard times. I promised to let you have your own opinions and dreams. I promised not to always give you your way so that you learn to accept what life throws at you with grace. I promised to teach you manners and morals so that you become a well-respected woman. I promised to protect you and guard you from as much evil as I can, but I also promised to let you explore life on your own.

I promised to cherish every moment of your life because I know it will go by quickly. I promised that I will cry when you first go to school, when you graduate and move away, and when you get married. But I promised that I would be excited for every new step you take. You can rest assured that I will be there to guide, support, nurture, and love you all the days of my life. I knew that I would not do any of these things perfectly because I have never done anything perfectly in my life. But I could promise you these few things that I thought a daughter should be able to expect from the one who loves her most in this world, her mother.

In that moment, I knew that I was ready to finally meet you, hold you, and be your mother. I watched as your little head emerged, and you began to cry when you first felt and experienced the world. The midwife placed you on my chest. I held you, and tears formed in my eyes. You are my darling daughter, and for the first time, I felt a love that I have never felt before. I will always love you with that love.

I promise.